I’m delighted to say that Detective Fashion is once again ‘active’.

This time he’s writing his memoirs online - so you can ask him about his incredible life as he goes along. The idea being of course that the whole thing will form the basis of a book; the writing of which I’ve been intending to do for years but keep putting it off.

Unlike the Simon Test book I’m avoiding the path of making thousands of notes before writing and instead I’m getting right in and getting my hands dirty straight away. Let’s not forget that this is not a new character or even new stories that I’ll be dealing with but instead I’ll be padding out stuff that we know already. 

Of course I have to mention to that I don’t own the sole intellectual rights to the detective. Back in 2003 I had the idea of an old man shamelessly abusing his retarded step-son and as we tried on a number hats and glasses Fashion just arrived - fully formed but with a live of his own! DK Cavey had accidentally discovered a window to his own subconscious and both he and I have been looting from it else since. 

It look us a while to know exactly what Fashion would or wouldn’t say but over the years we have learnt know Fashion so well that he is a real friend to us both and whilst DK has the honour of  lending Fashion his body from time to time I get the honour of journaling his life and thoughts. 

The outcome of which I hope you will enjoy over at DetectiveFashion.com 

I’m delighted to impart to you the news that Tony Gallichan today posted what could can only be described as a audio blog pilot episode to compliment the community fansite www.staggeringstories.net.

Adam J. Purcell who maintains the Staggering Stories website explained the turn of events in his blog:

“So, he took it upon himself to do a solo podcast. Will this be a one-off? I doubt it, certainly this has pushed the idea forward quite a bit, even to the point where I’m willing to give it a go as part of a group Staggering Stories podcast.”

Despite being out of contact with Tony for a while I’m delighted he has taken this action as I believe his unique perspective on life will make worth while listening to an international audience.

I first met Tony when I was only 9 years old when he set up a Doctor Who fan club in Jersey. Only to have the whole thing ruined by the cancelation of the show in 1989.

Since then he moved to (creepy) Crawley and whilst remaining a steadfast fan and at one point even a fandom glitterati (should such a thing be possible) before diversifying into other subcultures. Never worried about public opinion and nearly always true to himself I’m proud to admit that he has informed my work.

Should he read this it’s also worth pointing that the he will no doubt be furious that I should write about him as being anything other than ‘just some guy’ - but that’s the way it goes with the public image.

Still in self exile from Jersey, Tony is very much as Jersey-man much like the saying “There’s nothing more English than an Englishman abroad”. Yet he is also a very much loved by those who surround him including but his many cats (I assume they’re still around - it was a few year ago since I checked).

I very much look forward to hearing what insights he has to share in the future - especially if, as is more than likely, they are littered with obscure references to Doctor Who.

As yet the podcast does not have an itunes ready rss feed but the audio file can be accessed here.

http://www.staggeringstories.net/audiopodcasts.html

In 7 days time my final course work deadline expires and I unofficially finish my BA Film degree. I’m assuming I will pass but that is by no means a certainty. This time last year I was told that I didn”t belong and that failing me would me filling out more forms and they couldn’t be bothered to do that. (I think the fact that they get £7000 per year from the Jersey government to ‘teach’ me also helped my cause.) So I’m hoping that to fail at this point would adversely affect their hit rate and that I’m fairly safe.

But should you, like my own mother, still be in any doubt about the situation I’ve been in over the last 3 years here’s a bit of terrifyingly amusing evidence. I know full well that at times I’m prone to exaggeration or even histrionics of near Cochranian proportions but when last month my mum asked why I don’t use the studio at college to make some films or shows I was shocked and disappointed.

I thought I made it clear to everyone over the last three years - the Arts Institute at Bournemouth is a terrible place to be. There are some deeply troubled people here. Somewhere, at any given time on the premises someone is crying. There is no hope. There is only fear. Fear runs through the entire building like blood. (The aren’t even any emo kids here!)

So here’s is my evidence. I’d come to accept it by the end of the first year but I thought you’d enjoy seeing how ridiculous it looks from the point of view of a real world mentality. Remember theses guides apply not only to hiring out an entire studio but also a single microphone or even just a light.

The following process has been implemented to enable requests for Personal Production work to be considered and managed fairly and effectively.

To receive approval to borrow Institute equipment for Personal Productions the following process must be observed:

• Completed Personal Production Information forms must first be approved by the Course Leader.
• A complete list of all equipment being requested must be included with your forms.*
• Approved forms should be handed to a member of Technical staff.
• Upon receipt, forms will be dated and the submission time indicated. They will then be placed in the Personal Productions box.
• Technical staff will meet each Friday at 10am to consider each request in order of hand-in. These meetings will be held during term time only.
• Successful requests will be announced during the Monday morning Production Meetings.
• Unsuccessful requests will be discussed with students after the Production Meetings.
• No submissions will normally be refused. However, dates and equipment indicated are requests only. Some negotiation may be necessary, particularly at busy periods, to enable the workload to be managed.
• At particularly busy periods, during the production of Graduation Films for example, Personal Productions may be temporarily suspended.
• Forms submitted after 10am on Friday will not be considered until the following Friday meeting.
• Only a limited number of requests will be approved for any given time period. If too many requests are submitted for simultaneous production, decisions will be based on a first come first served basis as per hand-in date and time.
• Meetings to discuss Personal Productions will be held during term time only. Any requests for borrowing during holiday periods must be submitted before 10am on the Friday the week before the last week of term. Any requests for the first week of a new term must be submitted for the meeting held during the final week of the previous term.
• No Personal Production will be approved for dates extending beyond the end of the Summer Term.

*forms include: written permission from the owner of where and filming or recording will take place (the local council in the case of public land e.g. streets), maps including fire exits and toilets, a three page safety questionnaire, fully annotated crew manifests plus much much more.

All that even if you just want to borrow a 50quid mic.

Incredible but rather sad. And I’m told very common. It surprises me that Virginia Tech style incidents aren’t far more common. It wouldn’t surprise me if one happened right here in Bournemouth.