As you may know I’m running a personal campaign to simplify my life and step away from systems of institutionalisation. This has of course included stopping Spainful Films and even leaving my video camera packed away back in Jersey. So even if I wanted to make some video media I couldn’t.

But it’s not as if I would have done so anyway. I’m not the sort of person who could just pick up a camera, point it at something and hit record. When I see a video camera I in fact see a dildo or vibrator. Truly - to me that’s all they are, an aid to sexual relief/gratification.

When someone asks you what camera you have - or even what kind of mic or mixer, all they are asking is how big your cock is. When Rob from podcast 411 asks what your first computer was he’s really asking about how you lost your virginity - how old were you; what was she like; was she expensive (?!?)

The important thing is though that I have divorced myself from the responsibility that comes with mounting a production. My plans for building a team of comedy performers who share the same artistic and professional sensibilities didn’t work out but that’s fine. I’ll just have to stick with playing the loner for now.

But some part of me (the fighter in me it seems) had something to say about the matter. I’m fairly sure that an integral part of my identity can be defined by my creative outlets and so to put a stop to them is a very bad thing.

In short - if I don’t make some art then I may actually vanish.

And with this in mind I found myself in Woolworths looking at the cheapest video camera I could find. And it’s a horrible thing - I did buy it and it cost me sixty whole pounds! And I don’t even want to see how awful the picture quality is. And it’s exactly what I deserve.

So for the time being I’m going to spend some time making some video stuff - just for me - and then maybe I’ll be able to return to making more things for you.