Last time, I was talking about ‘rare’ Mr. Strauss recordings and my enjoyment of finding and listening to them. So instead for this, the second part of a very special top 10, I’m going to concentrate on the other stuff, the stories pictures and other text. If Justin Turner were writing this he’d call it the non-dynamaic-media.

Eyes up front please - Eyes up front…

5. The Mr Strauss Bespoke Essay Writing service.

A seemingly innocent page so easy to dismiss that I ignored it for a good while until I came across other text that reminded me of its existance.

Put simply we are talking the prostitution of writers, and this is the glass window in which Strauss is bent over with a large dildo in hand to demonstrate that he can accept pretty much anything into his well worn writer’s rectum.

Now based upon the system of morals that I subscribe to I’m left thinking, after reading this advert, that this alone is enough to guarantee him a place in hell. Not art hell (which as you know is bad joke version of a cross between Disneyland and Dante’s Inferno) but actual hell. The hell that’s pretty difficult to believe in because it includes the notion of infinity which our brains aren’t big enough to properly process.

Cost varies by assignment. But to give you a sense of approximate range, a five page English paper on a given short story would cost around 40 dollars. The factors involved include how much reading/research I have to do, how much time before the due date I am given the assignment, and how much custom “shaping” is required. By this I mean imitation of voice,etc

For a good while I refused to accept this at face value. It was a joke, the low cost of the service alone proved to me that this was in some way an exercise in situationalism. That he would somehow encode into a rich kid’s essay good reason for that student to be expelled or perhaps even sectioned. (The work as he puts it, of a meaningsmith) A real life excercise in the power of langauage which apart from testing out his subtextual sword (rather than his pork one) on a live subject, would also be cathartic because had he ever employed the services of a writer in this way his own life may have taken a different path.

Getting Paid to Write puts the whole issue into perspective. That rather than being a ’stunt’ it is in fact a living. And that somehow - in my own head at least, getting paid well and regularly to write people’s homework for them is in fact sad a truth of modern life rather than a crime. And I think it’s this that has shaken me the most - that because it goes on rather a lot - and is well paid that makes it ok. That I’m cast as being rather naive (all too common) and should calm myslef down with some hot and sexy hard class A drugs - which as we know everyone takes these days.

6. An image folder that goes on forever

I’ve only managed to skim the surface of this one. But there is enough here to keep anyone busy. A lot of it seems to be the component parts of html home pages experiments gone by, but seen here - bit by bit, is all rather rewarding. 5 minutes worth of clicking to see bits of corners of web pages and suddenly one comes across this.

Perhaps this entire “website being free for all to see” incident is in fact an artistic retrospective. There is also a hell of a lot of rubbish though.

7. Worm Story

Those of you enjoyed my story about podcasting Speakers Corner will probably enjoy this even more because it’s written by someone who, as we’ve established, is a fair bit more talented in the field of writing than I am.

Just read it.

8. I believe that certain authority-type figures want to kill me.

A truly amazing document that serves to effectivly demostrate a damaged sense of reason brought about by drug use but with a clever twist - it’s not he drugs that bring about the paranoia but those that police them. What’s super clever here is it reads like an anti-suicide note.

I am not now nor have I ever been suicidal.

I am extremely cautious in my driving and as a pedestrian.

“So, if I die mysteriously, call bullshit, alright?”

And much like the bespoke homework writing service we are left wondering how true this is document is. Hardly any examples of dishonesty are evident anywhere else on the site (that I could find) so once again I’m left shocked into believing that this is as is.

And then, in a final stamp of ’sample’ it ends “God Bless America, Daniel Cohron Osborne.” A reassurance that all is well and it’s all been a work of fiction, if not a fiction on page then at the very least a fiction in the head of it’s author.

I sounds all very cliché, I know, but it succeeds for me as a piece of art because the only way to prove if it actually art of not is by the death of its author. It’s also quicker to get through than the film ‘A Beautiful Mind’ and seems far less compromised or contrived.

9. I need to be jailed

In a similar vein to 8 - but reworked for audio, this recording plays like a confessional diary piece that mutates into a political school lecture. It’s a compelling piece of media because it’s truthful to the subject matter, analytical and but yet it successfully invites the listener to come to their own conclusions and think things through for themselves.

When dealing with the subjects of drugs and civil liberties it’s far too easy to be either preachy or allow personal experience to contaminate rather than inform an argument. This piece only just gets a way with it…

” When I look at the that constitution I don’t see anything in there that suggests that it’s ok for the government to be telling me what plants I can and can’t grow in my garden”

Most importantly, and to place it back into the context of where it came from (i.e. - this audio recording was probably recorded as material for the pop goes lethal podcast and was not recorded in order that it be hung in a gallery.) this effectively demonstrates what media, or podcasts, or art could and should be about if they taught integrity in schools rather than whatever the fuck it is they teach in schools - especially poignant given that the kids homework is being written by Strauss himself. Do they even read what it is they are handing in and their rich daddy paid for?

10. A Web page From Hell

Have you seen this? It’s fucking ‘orrid.

Now as you know I love the music Mr. Strauss and Komputadora but not all at once!

This webpage is so bad it deserve commendation. I don’t understand what’s going on here at all. I can’t believe this was ever a properly functioning webpage so full that it is of html nonsense it really is something of a miracle that it loads anything at all.

It’s worth bearing in mind that I’m looking at it in safari and if you take a look at it in firefox it’s not quite as bad as all that but it’s still demostrates some of the most evil things (including FRAMES) that I thought had been outlawed after the 2.0 purge of bad internet practice.

So this page reminds us that stuff like this still goes on and you don’t need to look to geocities to find it.

---

It doesn’t seem right to leave it at that. Website Nazi-ism is very unbecoming so let’s cleanse our palettes with a far nicer page.

Here’s a page my dad would like.

And so as I carry the beach goods and the postcard stand back inside the shop before closing let’s go over what we’ve just experienced and try to understand why it’s news worthy in my little world.

I’ve now spent more time writing this now any other blog post and have enjoyed every minute because it has allowed me to, or rather necessitated me to dwell on a ton of media created by a fellow artist.

I’d argue - I think it’s a very srong argument, that one of the criteria of good art is that it encourages the beholder to make art for themselves. I didn’t sit down to this blog 24 hours ago in order to create some art but rather just to write about something which I thought was important. (I think we’ve already established the relationship that I have with you the reader - that I’d much rather be writing about what I want to say rather than what you want to hear, so I won’t go over all that again). Important to me and therefore important to you if you are anything like me, or interested in the same things that I am into.

And that simple premise of intent to just do something that needs to be done because it feels right or may be good fun is exactly what I’ve been consuming on the pop goes lethal website. It’s the same reason why they build cameras into mobile phones - not for the owners to become a professional photographer or great artists through the medium of digital photography but because it’s fun to take to take some ’snaps’.

So I have written about something with as much depth as I am currently capable of and I have made excuses to myslef as to why I am researching something with far more vigour than anything I were writing for someone else. (Even if paid) . In short this text as not an attempt to create some art, though that may be at some point a by-product of what is instead demonstration of some kind of addiction.

It’s not something I’m worried about because it’s the kind of addiction that promotes that creation of art, or at the very least more blog pages that no one actually reads because they’re reading blogs about the new iphone.

All hyperlinks to work on Pop Goes Lethal is copyright 2004 popgoeslethal.com, Eric Strauss and/or Straussoholics Anonymous.

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Chances are I’m the only person in the world to be blogging about this but as far as I’m concerned this is far more news worthy than speculation about the latest device to be released by Apple, or whatever other banal nonsense that bloggers blog about when they aspire to bring down Fox news.

Put simply - there is a website, made by an artist (and his friends) which has been locked off to the public for quite some time. A website with contains five years worth of media. And media which dare I say has a lot of artistic merit. Text, songs, audio recordings, pictures, stories…stuff that actually says something to me. Stuff that I can really connect with and that I have learnt from. Stuff that has been hidden away and is now, with no reason given suddenly more available than it ever was before.

The locked off front door has vanished to reveal what’s more like an online hard drive. A jumble sale treasure trove that I at first I couldn’t even comprehend. Who would put all of this stuff on a web server. Thankfully for me Eric Strauss is just the sort of man who would, a Renaissance man who despite his talent - and despite me actually writing to him to tell him that his website’s innards were on display - probably won’t even batter and eye lid. For unlike Podshow’s site being hacked earlier his week it’s far more likely that Strauss actually deleted the popgoeslethal index page himself - either because he didn’t like it any more or perhaps even just to amuse himself.

So as in this very special top ten list I’m going to run off the top ten things that either made me smile, made me scream with joy or made me stop and really think. I think I’ve managed to survey about 40% of the content but this should serve as a reasonable road map to those who may be come across Strauss for the first time.

I should also to point out, as something of a disclaimer - having spent three years of misery in arts institute that not only did I learn more about art from listening and reading Strauss’ work (plus actually thinking about it for myself) but that it was also something of a lifeline. Much like the work of his new publishing partner Steve Dupont, these bits of diversion served as embodiment of hope and reminders of the actual life necessity of fun, which I maintain too many people loose sight of in the REAL world.

Perhaps the best primer for this article is an interview Strauss took part in back in early 2006 for a podcast called Crankfarm. It gives a lot of insight it how Strauss’ working methods, motives and other useful information that relates to the site and his music.

1. Palm Fronds
Without doubt my favourite Mr. Strauss track from his album mr strauss learns to rock. The song is revealed to have not only a second ‘ adventure’ version (which I’d previously discovered on garageband) but also a number of alternate takes that seem to take it right back to it’s bare bones. Much like the 4 versions of Strawberry Field Forever on the Beatles’ Anthology Album, each none of them really can be considered definitive but each is successful in different ways.

(My own naming scheme is used here)

Familiar Version

Alternate Adventure version (not garageband version)

Vocal Version (Safe)

Demo Version (Dangerous)

This last one, which as a demo is technincally the first one demostrates the energy, fury and humour of what the song turns out to be. What made it stand out for me was the middle eight in which he stops singing, takes a drag from his cigarette and seems to be about to lapse into Rapping Eric before jumping straight into the final verse and seemingly not missing a beat. It’s really an absolute diamond recording.

My joy in finding these recordings was sadly undermined by a folder called palmmusicvideo which contained nothing of the sort. Even if it had it been true it would have no doubt been a disapointment for nothing could have match the images that this track brings to my head. Perhaps the only person who can make this video is me - even though in all honesty it NEEDS footage of anal penetration.

2. An Interruption

From the greatest success to the greatest failure this track has always stood out for me as something special but a version of it here proves how something so beautiful can so easily be utterly ruined.

Familiar Version

As you can hear, and as the story goes; a recording session of this beautiful song was interrupted by Corey’s girlfriend (or is it wife?). Despite this, and despite the violence that is in evidence as the interuption continued, Strauss continued with his performance knowing full well that the recording was probably runied. But when he played it back he realised that interuption itself consummated the song and renamed as such.

Having heard this track now too many times to mention I though it would be nice to hear a version that didn’t have the interruption so that I could re-evaluate it.

Un-Interuption

My God! See what I mean about ruining something so beautiful? It’s AWFUL. I like to think that this abomination was part of his voyage of discovery but much rather blame heavy drug use and sheer bloody mindedness. Even Wonder Woman gets period now and then.

3. The Ghost of Vox Monitor

An mp3 that stands on it own

I don’t know which podcast this segment of a podcast review relates to but it serves to remind me how I never really cared that much when Vox Monitor was going. All that mattered, and the reason why the Vox Monitor archive is still enjoyable to listen to now, was that Eric and Corhy really enjoyed anaysis of art and media as much as they enjoyed each others company and insights.

Hearing this brings back how much fun I had listening to it when it was just a podcast rather than something greatly missed.

4. The Bespoke Pop Goes Lethal Song Review Service.

Apparently before Vox Monitor came along the idea of recording reviews was appealing and this recording suggests that this is the moment it all started. Eric begins recording a song review whilst listening it to it on headphones. Cohry then seems to blunder in and much like ‘Interruption’ accidently makes some art by asking ‘what are you doing - listening whilst recording?’.

One can only hope that in this romanisicsed version of events a conversation later ensued in which Cohry suggested the music review service be made into a podcast. Strauss in fit what seemed like genius thought that an extra element of meta was required and thought it far more funnier to make a review podcast that reviewed podcasts themselves!

The rest of this top ten will follow later as I’ve already spent an astonishing 6 hours writing this and I need to get some rest.

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As you know I’m currently looking for a job - that is to say full time employment rather than freelance or contract ‘opportunities’. I’ve never really known how freelancers survive financially speaking and judging by the price of rent alone in the capital there’s simply no way I can afford to live without some financial security.

Now I know some things and other things I’m very confused about. For example, my cv. As soon as it becomes acceptable one person then it’s laughable to another. Since leaving school I’ve had conflicting advice about what to put on ones cv (or whether to call it a resume) and none of this advice has ever gotten me more or better work!

In fact, as an aside, the first advice they give you in the media industry is to go to college/university. I always assumed this was in order to learn things, the grand illusion that educational institutions deliver actual training.

A good example of my cv dilemma is the fact that for a year I was a delivery driver. Or that for three years prior to that I was a dressmaking assistant. I can’t not include these things on my cv because when I know potential employers always ask what I was doing for those 4 years of my life; “Were you in prison or something?”. What about that summer I spent work Madam Tussard’s Wax Museum saying ‘This way please’ to tourists. How is any of this going to help me the job that I’m after.

And more to the point What kind of job am I actually looking for. This is where you come into it. Chances are the answer to this one is staring me in the face but I’m in some sort of denial.

Let’s fill in a few blanks here. We know little about the past - it’s diverse yet lacks focus. But ultimately it means I’ve learnt all sorts of odds and ends that may be useful or relevant - and that makes me interesting. But how do I capitalise on that?

So at the moment, the present, I know stuff. I’ve got a handful of websites under my belt and if you’re still reading this then you’ll agree I can write fairly coherently. I can also do all sorts of things will video and even won an award for just being in front of camera ‘as myself’.

And to the future: I believe that there is an IPTV gold rush underway and wish to be part of it. That is to say I wish to create videos with a long shelf life. Video content that may do well on one platform and then turn up on another a couple of years later - the same content! Not this weeks news but media that will be as relevant then as it will be now. Whether it be in your browser, your mobile or your IPTV or even actual physical DVD. And of course I wouldn’t be the first; I’d be one among many.

So, I ask you, how I am i going to get there? Am I really going there by becoming a fucking runner for a company that makes shoe adverts set up by a handful of 19 year olds with rich parents? Or do I really have to take the freelance route and set myself up as some sort of consultant who exploits the ignorance of companies who think that placing a bit of audio on their site and calling it a podcast will make them not only more hip but also more money.

Or do I just put on the polo shirt for some corporation that has nothing to do with my plans. I’m almost 30 so doing so will probably piss away any chances of being able to ever buy property. And perhaps I’d be just too physically exhausted from flipping email burgers for a 12 hour shift to do any filming.

In an industry which is built on exploitation I had hoped that I could protect myself by learning the technology. But I fear my After Effects skills and low budget production knowledge and experience are utterly irrelevant to the ‘real world’.

Perhaps I shouldn’t even by writing this now as it may be being read by a potential employer who up until now thought i was employable. To you I offer this reply. Just pay me the money and I’ll do the job - talking about how great you are on my blog costs extra.

So to reiterate my situation. Please comment with advice that is grounded in experience rather than speculation. This means comments like ‘why don’t you go work for the BBC‘ will be treated will swift removal from my reading list and perhaps even the implementation of voodoo. (As a quick aside - image if the BBC was actually like that! Like joining the army - you just go into the recruitment office and sign away your soul. What sort of comntent would they make if that were the case?)

What I want to know is: How do people who can afford to buy clothing form Convent Garden, who can afford to spend some time to make videos/art for themselves, who can afford to pay their rent and food and even things like cocaine (which I’m told fuels the creative industries) who can afford to do all these things and yet still work on their own stuff - how do they even survive? Is it magic?

What do I need to do to become like these people - for at the moment whilst I know how to make this and this and this and this I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford to buy dinner this time next month.

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